Collection of Thoughts » Collection of thoughts

Instant Family--inspired by the "Daily Meds" thread.

(10 posts)
  • Started 2 years ago by YetAnotherSeeker
  • Latest reply from YetAnotherSeeker

  1. YetAnotherSeeker
    Member

    YetAnotherSeeker

    I have a story to share. I want to apologize in advance for the long post, but I don't know any better way to share this story. The story you are about to read is true, except for the names, which have all been fictionalized:

    John and Martha were a young couple, happily married, and parents of twins, John Jr. and Angelina. Always looking for a better situation for himself and his young family, John gave up a job as a security job for a different, better paying job driving a bus. during his second week on the job, he was involved in an accident, which eventually cost him his life.

    By this time, the twins are four years old, and Martha is doing her best for herself and the kids, including several trips to a resort town to visit her sister Sarah, and Sarah's husband, Ron, a musician.

    When the twins were 7, Martha came to visit Sarah and Ron for Christmas. After the New Year, Martha told Sarah that she had some business to take care of at home. She left the twins with Sarah and Ron and disappeared into a world of self-medication and depression for several years.

    Meanwhile, Sarah and Ron put their own plans on hold, put the twins in school, bought clothes, all the things you would expect to do with an instant family. After several years they obtained legal custody of the twins and raised them as their own. Junior, as he was called, and Angie were growing, both physically and emotionally. Sure, there were some abandonment issues, and a little resentment. After all, Auntie Sarah and Uncle Ron used to be the Auntie and Uncle that had no kids, and would always spoil them when they came to visit. Suddenly, they were "THE PARENTS!" with all the rules and none of the spoiling (well, almost none!).

    Junior, as he was called, and Angie were growing, both physically and emotionally. They went on for several years, this instant family, and they even moved out west to be with Martha and Sarah's parents so the twins would know more family.

    After about five years, just as things were getting settled down, and approaching some semblance of normality (whatever that is), Martha called. She told Sarah that she had gotten herself strung out on drugs, and would like Sarah to find her a treatment facility, so she could get clean and be near the twins. Sarah and Ron found her a facility, and got her enrolled in a residential program.

    Needless to say, this threw the twins into an emotional turmoil! On one hand, here was their mother. On the other hand, they were old enough to see that she had gotten herself into a situation by making poor choices.

    Several months into the program, Martha announced to Ron and Sarah that she was pregnant! The donor was another resident, Darryl, who had been adjudicated into the program, rather than face prison.

    About this time, Sarah had come to realize that Martha was operating with diminished mental capacity. Perhaps the years of addiction had taken their toll; perhaps she had previously had issues, but had a huge support system in John, and when he was gone, she had nowhere to turn; perhaps... Sarah and Ron could speculate all they wanted, but the bottom line was that Martha was not fit to be a mother, nor was Darryl fit to be a father. He had children all over the country, and had not contributed a dime to any of their support.

    Sarah asked Martha to give up parental rights and let Ron and her raise the as-yet unborn infant with the twins as siblings. At first Martha agreed, but when Trixie was born, Martha would not sign the papers.

    Long story short, Trixie finally went home with Sarah and Ron, and eventually was officially adopted by them.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  2. YetAnotherSeeker
    Member

    YetAnotherSeeker

    In case you haven't figured it out, the story is partially autobiographical, except for the names. "Ron" represents myself, "Sarah" my wife; "Martha" stands for my wife's sister, and bio-mom for all three kids. "Jr." and "Angelina" are the twins that we did indeed raise from age 7. "Jr." is studying to be a paramedic and calls me "Pop." "Angie" is planning her wedding. "Trixie" is just finishing 2nd grade. I went to an award ceremony for her today. I am a proud father indeed!

    Posted 2 years ago #
  3. Star

    awesome story...whow...

    Posted 2 years ago #
  4. selfseeker
    Member

    selfseeker

    Hats off to you & your wife, YAS ! :)

    Posted 2 years ago #
  5. starion
    Member

    starion

    it takes a lot to step up in a situation like that. However, you got the best. You
    got to share with two now three awesome lives, you got to see the smiles, and the
    sadnesses, the triumphs and tribulations of them, and you are the family... Now I
    understand how you felt when I said that only viable parents should have children. But
    what I meant was that you would be selected as viable parents....

    Posted 2 years ago #
  6. YetAnotherSeeker
    Member

    YetAnotherSeeker

    You are right, Starion. Although we did put our plans on hold to raise our family, it was worth every second of the delay. My plans are much different, as are the wife's; we are each different people than we were before the kids came along, and so our interests desires are so much different than they were twenty years ago.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  7. YetAnotherSeeker
    Member

    YetAnotherSeeker

    Update:

    "Martha", my wife's sister and physical mother to my children, passed away in her sleep on January 18, 2009.

    The love of a mother is strong, strong enough to give up her children if she sees it is in their best interest. She gave my wife and myself three gifts that changed our lives far more than I could have anticipated

    Posted 1 year ago #
  8. Starss

    I am sad to hear of her passing. How much more tragic this story would have been
    had both Mum and Dad died and they were left orphaned. Love bridges any gaps in
    lives. Both of you share lots of love with these three. Thank you for stepping
    up!

    Posted 1 year ago #
  9. abstractprophet

    That is a beautifully touching story YAS.

    Blessings to your family during this time. :o)

    Posted 1 year ago #
  10. YetAnotherSeeker
    Member

    YetAnotherSeeker

    Thanks.

    Posted 1 year ago #

RSS feed for this topic

Reply

You must log in to post.