My dear Brodan,
I feel moved by your post. A big hug from me, dear ! I can understand your pain. Mary has put it really nicely.
Pain is there because we are in this body & as long as it is there (unless we are so spiritually grown that we don't feel physical/emotional pains), we all suffer at one point of time or the other. There is none who is immune to pain. So, this is nothing new & unique. But there is difference in intensity which we can bring with our correct way of thinking.
You know Dan, we don't decide most of the things that happen in our life :
a) We don't decide our birth. It is the wish of the Almighty.
b) We don't choose our parents. It is again not decided by us. Rich Parents or Poor parents, understanding parents or stupid parents, loving parents /cruel parents .... it is all predestined.
c) Our intelligence, our appearance, our country, our neighbourhood, our friends, our body structure ..... largely it is all predecided.
d) Chances that make or break us are really not decided by us .... though we tend to believe that we do exercise control over them.
e) Do we decide our length of life / time of death ? NO !!
f) In the expanse of this vast Universe, even our galaxy is not as big as a point. Looking at the time since creation, even a thousand year appears not more than a moment. Then consider what is our status & how big or small we really are ! How small & insignificant moment is our whole expanse of life on the time-line of existence ! Whatever I am feeling, joy or pain is for a very insignificant & not-worthy-to-be-counted moments. This all shall pass.
g) The wonderful moments that today tantalize me have passed & so will these painful moments. Why feel so perturbed over such ephemeral moments of life ?
What am I trying to say ? My dear Dan, this life is a stage & there is a big illusory drama is being played. You & I are all part of this grand Cosmic Drama. It doesn't go as we wish. The scenes keep changing again & again.
Nothing belongs to you. When you were not born, there was no mother, no father, no friend, no money, no house, no girlfriend ... & when you die, again there won't be anything for you. We never own anything ... & we must realise this. You have to play your part on this stage & go back home. When we play a part on the stage of a sufferer, hurt character, do we feel the pain when we go back home ?
BUT ... a word of advice from a friend. DO PLAY YOUR ROLE SINCERELY. Put all your efforts, your talent, your time & energy to make your role the best role ever played ! God wants you to play that role. Just don't cling to the outcomes ... but keep tyring & keep working for the best ... for alleviating the pains which is everywhere. There is pains in you, your mother, your father & your sister. What can you do to ameliorate these pains ? Ask for help from the DIVINE. IT WILL COME. Sit in meditation & call the heavenly father for help. Ask like His Son ... detached but still working towards lessening pains all around.
Recognise what is stopping your from getting success in getting money. How & what you can do to earn a descent livelihood ? Sit down & make a short-term & long-term strategy. Getting girls, home, love .... these are stupid talks. Concentrate on your work. This is what is expected from you at this moment. Work hard, think hard. You have to come out of this mess. And remember, in the whole process of your struggle, The Heavenly father is with you. Always remember Him & ask Him to guide you. In Gita, Lord Krishna says, "Always remember Me & keep fighting". We must fight to death for winning the war of this life but we must not be attached to the "win" whatsoever. Afterall, it is all but a drama on the stage ! After I go, how would it matter to me ? I shall go back home without any attachment to whatever happend on the stage.
Like Mary & David said - Don't neglect the health of your body & mind. This is the vehicle given to us by LORD for all our material or spiritual journey. We must take great care to keep fit. The fighter must be fit. Eat properly, sleep properly, meditate properly & take all challenges of this life in your stride.
I pray to God for all success & happiness you seek in this life.
Blessings ...
selfseeker
