Ok, David, Gates of Grace and Friends . . .
Have I got this right in thinking that the only reason why we are attracted to some one else is because we fall in love or lust with their conditioning ?
In your case David you never got in to conversation with the girl you met, well certainly not enough to get to know her out side of where she worked. I on the other hand was taken out on the most amazing day out ever with this girl called Natalie then had a few texts back and forth that as I look back now see she was showing affection back towards me, I then cracked under the pressure, texted her that I was scared that she and I had desires that we couldn't provide for each other and she texted saying that I had got her all wrong and bolted.
At that point I thanked her for the amazing day out, how she showed me what it is I want out of life, said Nemasthe then deleted her number and all text messages.
I am now left with one new friend that lives in a bus that knows her well, I have been re writing a letter over the last few days but don't know if should pass it on to get to her. Ok guys so you can see my situtation here's the letter:
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Hey Natalie,
I hope your well and happy.
Firstly I’d like to say sorry for miss understanding you so badly, I know it was all on my part and hope I didn’t hurt you, if I did then sorry, I just wasn’t my self at the time.
I feel like I have nothing to lose in writing to you as feel I’ve already messed up the friendship I hoped would continue. So this letter is an attempt from me to win your friendship back in the hope we could one day meet again to have more fun days out.
I’ve been left with fond memories of that day you picked me up in your little white Polo at 5 in the morning and drove me around to those parties. I don’t know what it was but I just had SO much fun that day!
I’d never done anything like that before and can’t wait for the next summer to find more out door parties like them to go to again. That day the sun was shining, there was such a wide spectrum of people of all ages, even kids playing, which reminded me of the Italian side of my family having fun together, the cliffs around us where bright white and the scene was set amongst amazing views. I’ll never forget it!
I met Mike recently, with his life on the Bus, and just got off the phone to him a while back. He told me that him and a few friends where over in Shoreham having a beer while in his bus parked out side his old local pub, wicked, you’ve just got to love the guy!!! I like calling him from time to time and hear what he’s up to. I’m going to invite him, his girlfriend and any other free spirited friends he has to come over to mine some time where I’d like to cook them a meal with sea Bass as they did for me on that previous sunny day when we met on Brighton beach, stepping on the hot coals from the barbeque was also another experience I’ll never forget!!!
In meeting Mike on his bus I have been left with ideas of both the fun and financial possibilities I could experience if I was to do the same, in my case I’d do up the bus up to become as comfortable as posh camper van and make it look new. I’d then tour Europe DJ-ing professionally, sounds like fun hey! I could take it around the coast of France, Spain, Portugal, Ibiza, Italy, Croatia, Albania, Greece then back up through Austria, Switzerland, Germany and finally back though France to end up in the Uk again. Then again I could do all that in reverse so I end up some where hot to see if I might like to buy land some where, or maybe buy an old building to restore overlooking the sea in the south of Italy, yes that’s another dream of mine.
Ambitious as it may seem, this bus Idea could well be the major catalyst to my career. I’d like to see if I could get the BBC to film the whole adventure right from buying the bus, trying out some eco ideas and then film me touring as I DJ in various countries while capturing the adventures that are bound to unfold!!! Who knows but I’ve got a few future stunt ideas I’m working on to boost my DJ profile further so doing something like this for me now isn’t as yet possible, who knows?!?
I am now living in my own flat with amazing views of Brighton and the downs, at night you can see Brighton twinkle with it’s lights and now after 5 years of living here love the city more than ever.
My Dj-ing is going well where my dream of being flown back and forth to DJ out in Madrid’s super clubs is looking like it could well be happening, this is something I’ve been working on to achieve for a few years now so you can imagine how much anticipation I am in over this!!!
The reason why I’m writing all this is because I’d just like you to know a little more about me, if you don’t like what you read then that’s cool, some things just aren’t meant to be.
At the time we met I was right in the middle of one of the most crazy times of my life where I had just split up from my ex. She just wasn’t what I thought she was and was learning one of life’s classic lessons, that is to take a lot more time in getting to know some one before dedicating the rest of your life to them, this is the lesson that at least I have learned!!!
I just had to move out of our apartment, I began living between 3 different friends houses and that of my parents while I looked for my own new place, the whole month prior was crazy enough but this was something else!! I had my Dj equipment in a house I couldn’t get in to so was letting clients down, my crash helmet was locked in some one else’s house so didn’t have my motorbike at hand (Which I love cruising around on to get away from it all) then I realized that the 4 years I’d spent in renovating our flat was pointless as I wasn’t going to see a penny of it, luckily I managed to convince her of my efforts and came out with a fair pay out on a valuation of the apartment.
Staying at my parent’s house for 3 days before moving in here to my new flat was heavy going to say the least. I had two pairs of jeans, a T-shirt and that green jumper you saw me in that still had that wood fire scent to it! Fortunately my wallet and those new army boots of mine where still with me so was kind of Ok!
Next thing I know my Dad was putting pressure on me to continue renovating his house while I was wondering where on earth to begin to get my life back on track, things where fast falling apart around me, I became ungrounded and at one point didn’t know who to turn to.
My Mum had a big fall out with her brother who’s my Uncle so needed support and my sister was suffering depression from boyfriend trouble at the age of 17, she then clung on to me as if I was her only life line!!! and In many ways I kind of am. I’m the one that taught her that she has her own opinion how ever young she may be, and that it is as valuable as my or anyone else’s out look. We have now become closer than ever and I can’t wait till she’s 18 and I can take her out, we have such a laugh together and often laugh at how serious others can be.
Now I’ve got though all this I can see my warrior approach!! I am sorted but am left with one thought that every so often spins around in my head, this is that I had to meet you right in the middle of it all. As a person yeah I’m passionate as you know me to be but usually am a lot more grounded, mellow and easy going, at the time I was being challenged from every angle all at once so just wasn’t my self.
I’m writing to you because if I don’t I’ll just never know, I’d like to ask you if you would give me a chance to show you that those crazy texts I sent you where simply not from me and that I sent them because I was in a challenging moment where I was some how reaching out for some friendship. I’m now back to my self again so would like to ask you if I could party with you and your friends as we did that day once more?
To make sure I wouldn’t make an even bigger idiot of my self I deleted your number!! So in case you would like to meet up again please send me a text on 07870 607 148. If you’d rather send me a mail then my mail ad is dan@djdanwarb.co.uk or if you prefer I’m on face book as ‘Dan Warb’ where you can catch me on there.
If there is no chance of this then it’s fine I understand, some things just aren’t supposed to happen, thats life! If so then I’d like just say sorry for miss understanding you so badly and that I see it was all on my part.
Then again if you and your friends fancy meeting up again some then I’d like that. If you know of any events your going to be at and feel like letting me know then where or when ever the event is I’ll make sure I get there just to say hello!
Either way, you lifted me so much that day and you also showed me that I have an amazing love for this Spanish or Mexican live guitar music, I now listen to it all the time and am even playing it out in my DJ sets! I am also keeping an eye out for those nights you told me about that play this music live but still need to find them.
I hope you don’t have the CD’s I have enclosed and that you enjoy them in your little white Polo as you drive out to work and back or enjoy them as you drive out to the next party with the sun shining through the early morning mist.
Don’t feel rushed in to giving me an answer or an answer at all, if I don’t hear from you then I know your not interested.
I wish you to make sure you do what ever it takes to make ‘you’ happy.
Thanks again for that amazing and fun day out.
Dan
X
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So what do you advise guys, do I even delete my friend with the Bus's number ?
Or should I get this letter to her and then totally let go of her and get her out of my mind ?
Oh you guys are so good to me.
Gigantic Hug!
Nemasthe.
Dan
