Collection of Thoughts

Collection of Thoughts » Collection of thoughts

1. BroDan
   Member
   

   

   Hi Guys,

   Thanks for your previous posts on my last thread it helped me a lot in feeling that this sense of 'need' will eventually subside and time, hard work, contemplation and solitude don't scare me, I'm just loosing hope.

   All this knowledge, wiseness, clarity people would give anything to have to get them out of their current situations or further along the path to Enlightment, yes it appears I have it all, even the fact that I see my self as truly beautiful, this ability to see ones self as so being rare as it seems.

   I am also seen as 'sexy', dark, Italian, fit, healthy and the rest, generally most girls make an effort to introduce them selves to me.

   A 'state of love' I have now I feel achieved, this state that is a state that I virtually have no one else in person that I know to communicate to about it, I generally keep things simple so as not to totally alienate my self or get my self thrown in to one of the systems mad houses.

   With it I have found 'me' and an ability to be so in touch with any one my presence that I feel what it is their missing or hurting from plus know how and what to say to make them see though their situations to heal and reground them to a state of happiness or at least soothe out the turbulent feelings they have. As a masseur my clients tell me I am incredible at what I do, I tell them all I wish is for them to be happy through and through, that i simply put all my effort in to wishing them happy, that any masseur is as good as me as long as their intent is as pure.

   Of course I wont claim it's me doing this work, I have simply found the courage to gamble everything for love, I have given my self up in total trust to the Universe, submitted every part of my mind, body and soul to let the universe pour in to my being along with all it's powers and all that is 'I' back in to 'it' to beceme 'one'.

   Now I not only have everything I gambled for love back and much, much more but have also achieved 'self love'.

   It is a lonely place, a very, very lonely place.

   I cant lie to fit in to society, I would then disappear behind my ego, neither, I cant go on as this Warrior of light much longer, I'm getting lonely and want to meet others like me, in flesh, for real, to simply exchange.

   Yes I am missing something, but what is it guys??

   Shall I go for it and go for total solitude till I see the answer?

   What is it??

   What ever it takes, bring it on, I want to belong.

   At least I have you guys here, of this I am eternally great full.

   Thank you.

   Dan
   x

   Posted 1 year ago #

2. selfseeker
   Member
   

   

   Dear BroDan,

   I think you now pretty well know what bothers you & why & how to tackle that. The wish to give happiness without any pre-conditions is a sure sign that true love is filling within you.

   But, as you say, there is still something amiss. What is that ? Why do you feel lonely ? Just think deeply & you will know. The love flowing from you needs further purification. You still are not out of your "selfish" (sorry, but can't find a better word) demands & expectations when you interact with people. If you can drop it, Bro, you will never be alone, you would never feel lonely.

   Why do I say that ? Dear Dan, this world is full of people who are seeking "love" ... even the so-called givers of love don't intend to give it for free. If you can truly become a "giver", there will be hundreds ready come to enjoy your love. Now your heart can give love freely ... but there is need to be with people, mix with them without having any fear of possible rejection or fear of losing our assumed status of being "different" from others, without having any fear of going through "some pains" which were caused by some similar encounters in the past. You might have become a lot wiser but you must enjoy people at their levels ... you won't become any less wise. Laugh on small things ... make others laugh ... not to make friends, not to impress anyone, not to find a sex-partner .... no...no..no ... you must enjoy the company of people just because this world is so wonderful, people around you are wonderful beings & you too are ( if commitment in friendship, courtship has to come, let it come naturally ... be patient). When you shed all fears, all expectations & let people express to you ... when they know that you are trustworthy though not really a doormat ... when they are comfortable in your company & you are in theirs ... you would never be alone.

   I remember a scene from a movie ...

   Girl : Why do you love me so much ?
   Boy : I can't stop loving you, dear. I see God in you.

   So, .... start seeing God in people around you !

   Posted 1 year ago #

3. David
   Member
   

   

   Hello once again BroDan

   In effect, Brother nothing changes but your perspective on life, instead of following the troubles this world can offer, along with the inevitable suffering you are beginning to see things as they truly are... the illusion we folk here are always talking about. Its not surprising you feel like you don't fit into society because you are seeing it for what it is.... an illusion, you no longer see any point in alluding yourself anymore

   The path to self discovery is a lonely one, only you can walk it, so yes I can understand your feeling lonely. You will also still feel the need to desire and lust, love and hate, be happy or sad, laugh or cry, while you walk the path these things will do there utmost to unbalance you and lead you to stray off the path,

   It is no surprise then to feel quite a bit of conflict within, one is telling you to remain on the path and the other to wonder off it!!!

   What is called for is balance

   when you recognise that there is a need to still live your life you compromise your needs and indeed troubles with walking the spiritual path, This compromise is just a recognition that while you walk the path you still have amongst many, desires and needs

   you cant control or restrain these illusions, to do so would drive you insane, but you can fully accept them without leaving the path and allow them to simply be,

   so balance requires you to learn to accept you are a human-being living an illusion

   You may not be able to choose the way you are born but you can certantly choose the way you want to live and die in it

   It all goes to say......... I live to love and love to live. lol

   God Bless

   David

   Posted 1 year ago #

4. starzz
   Member
   

   

   Bro;;As a fellow massage therapist (amongst other talents), I too have that touch. I can feel their pain in me, so I know where to touch to heal it. Sometimes I even feel
   the cause and know what to say to help...The world is full of hurting people...some
   male, some female...I do what I can...when I can. There comes a time when the talent
   ebbs, you get too hung up in it, or the ego jumps in and ruins it...or if you can't
   stay sane, you lose it. Enjoy it while you can... I knew a friend who could tell fortunes, and his talent (very crisp and clear lasted one year). It's just God in you
   reminding you of the abilities within you, that's all. Sometimes you are used to heal
   those who need it. Thank God for the talent passing through you; next time it'll pass
   through another and you'll be the client. Just passing through...that's all.

   Posted 1 year ago #

5. shin
   Member
   

   

   "It is a lonely place, a very, very lonely place.

   I cant lie to fit in to society, I would then disappear behind my ego, neither, I cant go on as this Warrior of light much longer, I'm getting lonely and want to meet others like me, in flesh, for real, to simply exchange.

   Yes I am missing something, but what is it guys??

   Shall I go for it and go for total solitude till I see the answer?

   What is it??"

   There is so much to address that I don't know how to repky in a non-confusing manner.

   Are you familiar with the 10 Ox picture story? I would say that you are desperately trying to lead the Ox. You work so hard on it that cannot even give attention to the surroundings. Instead of riding the Ox you are fighting it. I suspect you may even want the Ox not to be an Ox.

   You say "[I] want to meet others like me, in flesh, for real, to simply exchange." Of what? Bodily fluids? If not, why not? From your description you would have no shortage of prospects. How about being human first and then spiritual, or at least discard accpted and traditional so-called spiritual ideas and then be spiritual AND human.
   An enlightened master would have no problem to lie if there is a need for it, it is that he just finds very little need to do so.

   Abandon hope. Deal with what is. What chance is there for you to find a companion when you approach others with your warrior light on full beam in front of you, blinding yourself and them in the process? Dimm the damn light a bit! You may even want to switch it off now and then (especially when exchanging bodily fluids). Give the people you meet a chance to discover in themselves what you have found within you.

   Posted 1 year ago #

6. Star
   Member
   

   

   shin, my feelings are hurt...sike...but you could of given that advice to me a few years back...LOL...in all fairness though, you did give me many pointers...*

   Posted 1 year ago #

7. abstractprophet
   Member
   

   

   Dan,

   When are you ever been not where you are? When is anyone not where they are?

   What changes? What does not? Is there something beyond changing and not-changing?

   :o)

   Posted 1 year ago #

8. BroDan
   Member
   

   

   Hi Guys !

   Since I started this thread I have read over your posts a few times and just let a little time pass to self observe before posting back, here I am doing so now.

   Since my first post here I have found my self to come in contact with some very 'life experienced' or 'path to enlightment' passionate folk on facebook, that place is amazing, standing back from that vibrant on line chat place you really can see the battles between peoples fears and states of Love taking place on a huge international level, amazing.

   All of your posts here have made me smile, all of you have shared things with me that have helped, to be honest though, I like to have my opinions really torn apart and only you, Shin have done so but nothing you say has made me even flinch.

   Here you say;

   "Are you familiar with the 10 Ox picture story? I would say that you are desperately trying to lead the Ox. You work so hard on it that cannot even give attention to the surroundings. Instead of riding the Ox you are fighting it. I suspect you may even want the Ox not to be an Ox."

   Well . . . no, I even love the Ox !

   I've come to realise that the very root of ones anger is wishing the world where different around us, as we well know here, in a state of anger we are simply wishing that 'our views' of world around us where different. As I choose to love what ever I am served up, I have no anger, I just witness and let things and emotions pass how ever I may hurt at times.

   Shin, you go on to say;

   "You say "[I] want to meet others like me, in flesh, for real, to simply exchange." Of what? Bodily fluids? If not, why not? From your description you would have no shortage of prospects."

   Your right, I don't have any shortage of prospects but the exchanging of fluids does nothing for me unless I am able to totally devote my self to who I am intimate with, 'a girl' would be my choice ! But I'm just not into 'intent-less behaviour' or 'I'll in-tented' encounters, to make love is such am amazing act that unless either 'I' am settled in my self firstly or that she is as 'unsettled' as I am for us to connect by firstly over time 'exchange' thoughts on an emotional level that we both share I have absolutely no interest in such sexual encounters.

   Ok, I am still feeling weak as a Man that has no stamina to last long enough to connect 'heart to heart' with another during intimacy as such so this does make me distance my self from such encounters to satisfy my 'animal' desires but the want to love and be loved intimately none the less is very much in me.

   In speaking to a very wise Tantric lady called Oceana about this 'lack of sexual stamina' from my perspective, a 'male's perspective' she want on to say that I may suffer from it because possibly one of my past relationships was with some one who couldn't enjoy the 'here and now' during intimacy, (this relationship in particular lasted 9 years). Oceana went on to say that the feminine energy is incredibly overpowering to the masculine if not controlled by the woman during making love and that it's not on my part but the part of the women I have slept with that have raced me to be some where in the future and not choose to simply be with me in the here and now that has now left me almost 'scarred' in my ability to make love. She went on to say that I need to find a 'woman' not a 'girl' who has no control over an intimate moment.

   Wow !

   I don't know where I'm writing all this from but obviously it's something that does torment me and is on my mind.

   But Shin I ment 'exchange' on an 'intelligently emotional level', not fluids as I find I dont want this till I see dedication from both sides of the table towards such a relationship that includes the soul soothing act of love making.

   Right now I'm sat here realising that I am finally starting to embrace the fact that I may be alone for ever, I'm getting used to it, this I feel is the core of me I am healing, if it goes . . . it goes. If it doesn't . . . then it doesn't. I'm starting to see this is the healthy out look to own.

   Now I'm preparing to give and sell everything I own and travel miles away just because in this single position I am in . . . I can !!!

   Big hug to you all.

   Dan

   Posted 1 year ago #

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