Collection of Thoughts » Collection of thoughts

'To Love' Oneself Or 'Not To Love' Oneself ?? Or another more to the point !!!??

(18 posts)

  1. BroDan
    Member

    BroDan

    Hi Guys,

    My goodness, life for me has very much panned out since my monumental break up of a 9 year relationship 7 months ago but now am left with a whole new ball game as I lead a single life, let's just say I'm learning at the speed of light !!!

    I have been moving in to understanding what 'self love' is for the first time in my life (from what I can tell) but have been left now wondering how far should one go in self love? Admittedly the answers is obvious ! To achieve a state of self love that isn't obsessive in one way or the other !

    Problem is I have this military way of dealing with my self, for instance if I feel something 'I think' I love is bad for me I will take it away from my self then sit in silence or solitude days after to re acclimatise back to happiness as I remember or inner peace with out what ever useless thing it was I filled my life with. Recently I've introduced a lot more raw food in to my diet, have given up e-numbers, preservatives, chocolate, drink a lot less alcohol, only go out dancing once a week roughly instead of 4 nights a week and am in bed all the rest of the nights early to be up at the crack of dawn to catch as much sun light as possible. The only thing I'm now left at looking at doing is giving up smoking, last time I gave up I lasted 8 months but 8 months later it felt like I'd given up smoking the day before, the caving really tortured me so out of self love started again ! Exactly, this is the inner torment I have over many things I do or don't do for my self now. If I choose a spontaneous manner best I know it I'll party 5 nights a week and drink lots of beer ! So being spontaneous isn't so much as an option for me as I reshape my life in entering self love.

    I've very much seen the only way to achieve inner peace is to empty our selves of everything that clouds us so have now nearly sold everything I own, I'm now left with my music equipment, a lap top and few clothes. I've also cut out many, many relationships out of my life as I realised that it wasn't healthy for me to be around people who either didn't accept me for who I am or who where simply stuck so deeply in the illusion or in fear, at the same time I've cut out many relationships because out of self observing realised I used them to distract me from being able to be totally self sufficient and manage my moods on my own, in the past I would crave to be held or soothed unlike now where I can self love much better with out relying on some one else to do it.

    Since emptying my life of useless relationships I've attracted some incredible people in to my life who truly are beings of Love and light, this I realised only happens when we firstly set our levels of self love up high and don't budge from them as well as not letting our selves fall in to something with some one because of a state of 'need'. This state of 'need' I, many and I'm sure many of you have experienced directly after a big break up. I've also noticed that these beings of love as such don't enter our lives till we make room in our lives for them, or have come to be at one with our selves. In turn that this only happens when we've rested through the painful void we experience after a break up or through a faze of discipline to self love and stop lying to our selves.

    Equally, living such an empty life style gives a chance for us to witness, to see what clouds us to reveal our truer inner selves, this being something very few have the courage to do. As I notice many as I did used or use a relationship to cover what it is we are are truly facing and running away from such as insecurities, loneliness or fear. I've now sat and not only witnessed all these states but managed to step through them to arrive where I am now, which is in a state where I'm beginning to grasp 'self love' but am also experiencing a high level of self awareness that is tormenting me.

    The main inner turbulence I'm fighting with is this:

    Is the way to be, to be celebate, monogamous or in an open relationship ??

    I know the way is not to set such barriers, to flow from ones purest self achievable and just flow, see what happens and take the now as it comes but I know that 'the way to God is the way', that this is the truest way to be to ones self, the most self loving way to be and this torments me, a lot.

    I'm still attached to the thought that 'my soul' mate is out there and that I may meet her one day or am attached to experience a loving relationship as I've experienced before but I just can't help but feel that the only reason why any one goes in to a relationship is to purely soothe or cover over what it is we are scarred with or conditioned with from our up bringing. That unless we devote our selves to God that we will never heal of what torments us.

    So, with my thoughts in mind, what do you think guys, Is the way to be, to be celebate, monogamous or in an open relationship ??

    I admit I am in torment here so any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

    Thanks guys,

    Dan

    Posted 1 year ago #
  2. starzz
    Member

    starzz

    From my point of view. The greatest awareness in my life came during a solid
    relationship with the other gender. It seemed to stabilize me...so I could
    experience the intensity and keep from being swept off my feet. I was also
    working full time and came up against a situation in which common sense was
    useless and asked the universe for a solution and that solution was to regard everything in my life with love, no matter what it was. It was not the outer
    experience, but what I was thinking. If someone was ignoring me, I spoke kindly as
    if they were loving...thinking loving thoughts, that the exterior was not the
    reality, but the loving thoughts I was projecting. Abruptly, my thoughts merged
    with the higher power and everything was easy. While it goes against everything
    that has been taught from the time of birth, it is the way. Easily flowing from
    moment to moment without thinking, analyzing, simply letting things go on without
    opposing one second of it. Watching without reaction. Loving every little moment.
    Not expecting, nor wanting anything to go ones way, just letting it all happen as
    it will and loving it. Some describe it as standing to the right of your own shoulder
    and watching you..or witnessing you doing you...while remaining apart from you. If
    this makes sense to you, then you have some understanding of what is being said.
    This euphoria lasts until you step in to interupt...then it fades...sadly...and
    you are back to the old anxious, fretting, egotistical fool, feeling that want to
    return, and in that feeling are you blocking your own return to be free of ...yourself.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  3. starzz
    Member

    starzz

    There are saints who married and saints who remain single. If being married
    is right, be married. If being single is right, be single. There are no tried
    and true answers; each must find their own path....
    I would add this...all people on this earth are here to work things out, else
    they wouldn't be here. No one is perfect...we are all working on something. Don't
    look for perfect others...know that neither are you perfect and accept that as OK.
    We all have our hang-ups and our idiosyncracies. Love all of it....

    Posted 1 year ago #
  4. starzz
    Member

    starzz

    Bro: this moment...what you are hearing, seeing, your movement, what you are feeling,
    immersed in love, forgiveness, no comparisons, no past, no future moments, just NOW,
    this perfected moment, what you are smelling, tasting, this now...each moment regarded
    with loving consideration. This perfect moment...there is nothing else..this expanded
    moment...in absolute perfection...everything around you is precisely where it needs to
    be...doing what it must...as are you. Look over your right shoulder at these words
    and feel the love that flows in them, the power, the majesty and beauty and feel the
    intensity of love from which they came...and know you are perfect as you are. You
    need not do anything but exist...and that, by itself, is perfect. Just let things be.
    Let things happen around you...watch them without judging, without thinking, simply
    letting things happen.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  5. shin
    Member

    shin

    "I just can't help but feel that the only reason why any one goes in to a relationship is to purely soothe or cover over what it is we are scarred with or conditioned with from our up bringing. That unless we devote our selves to God that we will never heal of what torments us."

    You may well be right in saying that we go into a relationship in order to make us feel complete. There is at least one theory (Imago theory) which states that the person you chose is exactly the person which is *least* likely to fulfill that functoion. IOW, despite being in a relationship, all healing must be done by you. Even more so, the person you chose will, through their inability to fulfill your 'demands', surface them in an even more acute an powerful manner.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  6. BroDan
    Member

    BroDan

    Hey Starzz,

    Thanks so much for posting, I slept badly last night and today am still feeling in major inner conflict.

    I have never experienced what you speak, though it rings through me as my truthful way to be, to love, how ever everything is around me to just love. I am loving all around me more than I have ever done before and yes, even love imperfection in me and others as I've learned that imperfection is perfection.

    It's this that you write that I just can't put in to action:

    " You need not do anything but exist...and that, by itself, is perfect. Just let things be.
    Let things happen around you...watch them without judging, without thinking, simply
    letting things happen."

    I just can't seem to do it, I have had come to the surface something yesterday that is cutting me in half, the last girl I lived with as near married for 9 years called and though I would never return to her and have even lost all Jealousy over her and her new relationship I am in torment because she is going to really hurt her self but am so torn as I know she must now walk her path on her own. When we split up she was instantly in to this other relationship so hasn't given her self time to evolve, heal on her self of the fears she unconsciously suffers from, where as I have become a real warrior to grow.

    I know there's nothing I can say and must 'Love' her decisions and let them be. The whole thing has brought up to the surface something with in me that I do and can see that this very trait is what is propelling my inner anxiety about what the most 'self loving' for me to take is. This is that I find it really hard to do as you say, sit back and watch, accept and just love if I feel some one else is self harming, in fear or not self loving. Interesting thing is this is exactly what I do to my self, I cant sit back and just watch things happen to me, like I have to discipline my self constantly to love my self, thus constantly torment my ego by pulling away what I feel is bad for me, this is what I attempt to do to others around me.

    I must just try and do my best to accept all and love, just love.

    I see now the state of 'self love' is very tricky because as you say we've been conditioned not to love what it is that we don't like, this of course being the total opposite of loving and self loving.

    At least I can see the core of what it is I'm facing, also that no, I am not ready for a relationship if I was to choose this path, I'm in far to much inner torment and 'need' to care for another. I would just love to master what's before me become as you being as you say:

    " Easily flowing from moment to moment without thinking, analyzing, simply letting things go on without
    opposing one second of it. Watching without reaction. Loving every little moment.
    Not expecting, nor wanting anything to go ones way, just letting it all happen as
    it will and loving it."

    Beautiful, truly beautiful.

    Shin, thanks for posting.

    Yeah thanks a lot, applying this military outlook on my self your post has settled me, whether I am to be in a relationship or not, either is military on my self enough ! ha ha ! Crazy. Amazing how being in a truly loving relationship can feel so good yet be rolled in with so much surfacing of inner conflicts, it's no different to what I'm feeling now though, I'm really in inner turbulence here so there would be nothing different if I was experiencing the same in a relationship.

    So what now guys !?

    Just carry on doing what I'm currently doing, that is to self love best I know it and hopefully one day I'll finally just 'accept', sit back and enter the effortless state of Love that you Starzz speak of . . . only . . . if only.

    Big hug guys.

    xx

    Posted 1 year ago #
  7. selfseeker
    Member

    selfseeker

    Dear Brodan,

    If I am intelligent, I should try to avoid anything which can cause immediate or future pains. We all are looking for something which can make us happy. The pursuit of happiness makes us run after worldly things. We really don't know if something would make us happy or not. But we keep on running propelled by our conditioning. This running never ends until we take time to sit back & think --- why should I run ? Is it really going to make me happy ?

    I see the same old story repeating infinite number of times again & again. We run after satisfying our sense organ's hunger thinking that it would make us happy ! We never stop & think that this has never made anyone happy in the past. How can it make me happy ? Every effort towards getting worldly things for sake of happiness brings more hunger, more pains. It makes me a slave of momentary satisfaction of sensual desires & slavery is the mother of all pains/unhappiness.

    You are on your path to freedom. However, old habits die hard. There is a need to have patience. There is nothing really needed to be happy. However, our conditioning makes us feel that we must have this thing or that thing to be happy. This is all in our mind. There is need to just change your thoughts. Change your thoughts & everything will change.

    You may feel being lonely. Find out a group near your locality or on internet where you can interact with people who have similar thinking. Learn meditation from a good teacher & discover the underlying joy within you. Read good spiritual books. ..... but don't let yourself fall into a company of people who are psychologically weak, who are mindlessly running after gratification of their sensual pleasure, who are hooked to drugs & other worthless activities. The company you keep does affect you.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  8. starzz
    Member

    starzz

    You want to save another; you really want to save yourself. Problem is, you are already there but do not know it. You think the way is this or that, you are still
    hunting for solutions by doing this or doing that, thinking this or thinking that.
    What you seek you already have, but you are SO busy seeking you are blocking recep-
    tion.
    You are a radio station. You are sending signals...a thousand SOS's into space.
    Can you hear me? Can you respond? Anyone out there? Where is everyone? Your repeater
    keeps sending messages... I am lonely. Help me.
    What is happening is that you are so busy asking that you cannot receive. You can't
    do both at once. So, my suggestion is to stop sending, be quiet and let the answers
    come back to you. Let it be. Let answers return. Stop trying to make things happen.
    You block what can happen. Meditation is listening for answers. Simply listening.
    It is difficult at first. You are so busy trying to get responses that you create them.
    Sometimes only a couple of seconds of non sending. Work at it. As far as smoking, God
    doesn't care if you smoke or not. You are only smoking yourself. You will quit when
    you are ready.
    About bars....tell me is it quiet enough for reception or is everyone there trying
    to fill the empty places they have?? .I have never met an enlightened person in a bar.
    Just saying....and drinking and associating with lost people does not help a person
    find spirituality....in fact, if you are seeking change from such behavior...being
    there denies change. Your surrounds do affect you profoundly...

    Posted 1 year ago #
  9. BroDan
    Member

    BroDan

    Thanks Selfseeker, nice to hear from you again and thanks again Starzz,

    I spend nearly 7 whole days a week on my own as I currently don't know any one who's company really excites me, I do know a lot of people and regularly get texts from nothing but beautiful people that I sometimes meet for a brief drink on the week ends but none that can reciprocate conversations as we have on here, every day I'm becoming more and more accepting of this and filling my life with as many healthy things as possible and I truly love my work, even during the week where I restore my fathers house.

    I am really in to dancing, in fact these days it is my main discipline, though I dance at home on my own and often follow dance with Thai Chi I find there's nothing like loosing in on the dance floor to trance music, every one in the scene here in Brighton knows me for going crazy on the dance floor. I shut my eyes and go inwards, I've learned this way of letting go that leaves me in fits of laughter and sometimes tears, this being release of stagnant emotions that move in letting them go.

    I am also a DJ on the week ends and love to DJ, it is my art that I am very good at so most week ends yes, I am surrounded by people who take drugs, drink and smoke but what I've found is that enlightened people, though there seems to be few of us out there that I meet people as such everywhere, in every circle there is a few and that it doesn't matter where you go.

    The scene I'm in to attracts people who in general are a lot more at one with them selves, hippies with dreadlocks and people who live a passionate life rather than the more commercial scene where people live more as slaves to the system and drink them selves to total oblivion, are in to cocaine and are often so full of insecurities it makes it difficult to be accepted by them, this of course isn't a problem it's just they way they are and company I choose to avoid.

    I intend to start a new class soon once I'm through these 6 weeks of a lot of work so till then I'll make do with reading (Yes Selfseeker, I do read good spiritual books that stretch me and love doing so every evening!) my Thai Chi and dancing.

    In the past I've been to Yoga classes and most of the people I find that attend are trying hard to get their life back on track so never really met any enlightened beings there, same in Thai Chi classes. I've been and lived in a very, very wide spectrum of various societies and have given up looking for people I connect with, this I am now not bothered about looking for or finding. The only places I have to interact with enlightened beings is here and on facebook where I'm attracting other like minded people but really seems to be very few of us or, I'm not enlightened my self to attract other beings as such in to my life.

    Also Starzz, I can see what you mean about giving up asking for answers, this I feel we all naturally do when we are in heavy thought but because of your posts on here I am already letting go and understanding what you write, I'm really understanding what self love is from what you describe.

    As far as worldly goods, the two main things I need to let go of is firstly how much it means to me make it as a DJ and secondly of a new motorbike I'm dreaming of so I can travel some long distances abroad, I do let my self get down and feel my self being impatient so I am now self observing best I can to stop wishing for things to happen and centre my self more in gratitude, though I am so great full for everything around me one can always be yet more great full and less greedy.

    Do you guys not feel that If I was to start looking for like minded company that I would then be more in state of greed or chasing which is the opposite of just being?

    Thank you my enlightened beings.

    Dan

    Posted 1 year ago #
  10. selfseeker
    Member

    selfseeker

    Dear Brodan,

    Your post reflects the peace & order in your life. You have made amazing progress since you first visited this forum. You have done really well in spite of so much of turbulence in your life.

    So, what next ? I like to say a few things at this point :

    i) Never take your vulnerability (due to your limitations within mind-body entity) lightly. There have been infinite number of people who made excellent spiritual progress & fell again into their old habits. As I told you in my earlier post : "Old habits die hard". In fact, when we think it is dead & we have won & we become careless, it resurfaces again & hits us hard.

    So, be careful when you are in an environment/company which can drag you to your old ways. Beware of thoughts which may seem benign & harmless but have strong potential to drag you back in your old painful ways.

    ii) Though there has been more than enough talk on "just being" on this forum, I think that is easier said than done. And many a times, when we think we have achieved the state of "just being", we are just fooling ourselves & justifying even an undisciplined way of living, thinking & behaving. I am not saying that it is always the case ... but this too may be the case.

    Meditation & related discipline makes you realise the real meaning of all this ... the real joy that we all seek. It is not that it can only be achieved through meditation, but again I am not talking about exceptions. Now, teaching meditation also has become a commercial profession. The teacher you choose, must be God-realised or enlightened. Then only the real effect is seen.

    Love & wish you all the best ...

    Posted 1 year ago #
  11. BroDan
    Member

    BroDan

    Ah Thanks Selfseeker,

    Yes, I certainly have come a long way since I started posting on here, to be honest I can't see my self going back to my old ways as I've pretty much upheld this way of being for some time now, I've also truly had enough of always 'yearning' or 'wanting'.

    I as of yet after 13 years of trying to make it as a DJ have yet to get any decent sort of break in the career, thats 13 years of never ending inner torment causing me to obsessively propel my self forwards, I used to see this as 'passion', as in that passion was a good thing, now I simply see that passion is something that takes us off the path to enlightment.

    Last night I started reading this book called "Practice Of Brahmacharya" By Sriswami Sivananda.

    At last, I see . . . I see more than I have ever seen. The author speaks of 'lust' and how it is the driving force with in man that destroys, causes greed, unhappiness and that causes many to live a life as 'slaves to our flesh' instead of living a state where 'the flesh should be the slave to the soul'.

    I'm understanding this so well that I see a huge life transformation before me, to me personally a transformation I think many I know will find hard to accept.

    The idea that it is possible (though total devotion) to eradicate the never ending monotonously painful yearnings of our our ego constantly wanting things such as success, money, sex, alcohol, TV, newspapers or always feel the need to have to work, or fear our financial future unless we devote our selves to saving money, along with other yearnings (that I more recently suffer from) which is to 'find my love', to be loved, to get, to do, to have, to arrive, all these, all these painful yearnings as I've learned can be totally eradicated from our lives, this to me isn't happiness but just not being troubled any more.

    Ok, in naivety I can only guess how traumatic the path to arrive at such stillness maybe, or that I have what it takes to achieve such a state, that as I write the sensations in my body caused by my ego screaming at me. "No, NO NO !! PLEEEEEeeessse don't do this to me!!!" may get so strong that I could enter sensations of release painful as never before but right now, I feel I I've had enough of wanting, that 'yes' I would love to find a girl to grow along side with but I realise that while in that relationship I will always be looking at other girls yearning them and feeling trapped, all these sensations of course being 'want want want'.

    Enough, this wanting will never stop so right now I am beginning to consider selling everything I own, give up my DJ career, get rid of my mobile phone, laptop, bed and home to leave for India.

    Scary though, very scary. In fact this is what I feared months ago, being an acutely intelligent being combined with this 'military' out look I've always carried I have through various tormenting times spiritually grown very fast, at a rate that no one else around me could ever keep up and what's more on my own all the time, the reason why I split up from 'Vasu' my 9 year love was because I spiritually out grew her as well so here I am.

    I've been alone the whole time and am alone now, I feel emotion and pain move through me but if I had some one to hold me, to caress me better it wouldn't do a thing for me, I see it no different to cry alone as it is to cry in the arms of another, only that crying on my own is not attached to effects it has on another.

    All in all, I'm giving up fighting, resisting, pushing and most of all wanting. I've never been satisfied with what the universe has given me how much I feel I am worth so much more so this to me is great realisation, how ever painful.

    I think I'm going to devote my self to achieve inner silence and oneness.

    I see no other choice unless I am to remain constantly rotting in 'want' for the rest of my life.

    Thanks Selfseeker, I really sense your love and right now that means a lot to me.

    Dan

    Posted 1 year ago #
  12. selfseeker
    Member

    selfseeker

    [quote]I am beginning to consider selling everything I own, give up my DJ career, get rid of my mobile phone, laptop, bed and home to leave for India.[/quote]

    Dear Dan,

    IMO, everything is ok except the above. I don't think taking such a big jump at this stage is necessary. It is possible to pursue career of your choice & also make progress in your spiritual path. The "world" is in your mind ... how can you run away from yourself ? And it is always better to be financially independent at least for our basic needs.

    I am from India & I can tell you that it is not that enlightenment is freely available here. You must safeguard yourself against those who run their shops in the name of spirituality. The enlightened beings don't open shops for selling enlightenment. There are many branches of monasticism (Samnyaas) where you may get enlightened beings but normally they won't accept you unless you are "ready". The saying is that we attract people who match our spiritual vibration. So, if your spiritual vibration is at a lower level, you are likely to land into company of similar people. The rule is the true teacher will appear once you are ready. The circumstances would shape in such a manner that it would just happen.

    If I remember correctly, you are from Australia, right ? I can suggest you a simple thing which you may try without much difficulty. With my experience I have found the Course offered by Maharishi Yogananda's centers are one of the best. The Master is no more in his physical form but it is believed that he is the true guide for the devotees coming to him. They offer you a correspondence course ( of nearly one and 1/2 years) for a very nominal fee/donation. They teach you on various issues :

    i) Energization Exercises for various body parts to make you fit for meditation as body is the vehicle for all our spiritual achievements
    ii) Step-by-step meditation techniques --- After a certain stage if you are found fit you are selected for getting knowledge of Kriya Yoga by one of the monks.
    iii) How to succeed in what you do & how to solve problems in your daily life. etc. etc.

    Before joining this course you can read some of his books. If you have not read about him, you may start with :
    a) Autobiography of a Yogi - the life story of this great saint
    b) Journey to Self-realisation - it is a collection of some of the lectures of Maharishi Yogananda

    I searched internet for you & the following are his Centres in Australia :

    1. Sydeny Center :

    For information, please call:
    Tel: 61-2-9280 1311
    E-mail: info@srfsydney.org.au

    2. Brisbane West Meditation Circle

    For information, please call:
    Tel: (07) 3374-2829
    E-mai: brisbanewmc@yahoo.com.au

    3. Melbourne Meditation Group

    For information, please call:
    Tel: (03) 9513-1842

    4. Perth Meditation Group
    48 Barker Street
    Belmont, WA 6104
    For information, please call:
    Tel: (08) 9277-3983
    E-mail: Perthsrf@bigpond.com

    If you feel interested, you may get in touch with any of these centres & obtain more information about the full course/meditation centres etc.

    I hope it helps you.

    Love & best wishes ...

    selfseeker

    Posted 1 year ago #
  13. selfseeker
    Member

    selfseeker

    Dear Dan,

    I am not disappointed with your silence. I have seen that people mostly take such advices with a pinch of salt because there are many who are out there to promote this or that organisation. So, it is quite natural.

    It doesn't really matter to me whether you follow my advice or do otherwise but just to clear your doubts :

    i) Don't think that I am an agent of this organisation & I have any hidden agenda for promoting this. As most of the people know me on this forum, I am professionally an engineer & a materials manager with a handsome salary. Money has never been a problem for me. So, rest assured, this cannot motivate me for anything.

    ii) The amount charged by this organisation is ridiculously low. I cannot say about what they ask for in Australia but in India the fee for the entire course is equivalent to less than 6 USD ! So,even if someone wants your money by promoting it, it is really not worth it. Right ? In fact, even the cost of paper, printing & postal charges itself would be more than this amount !!

    iii) It is a correspondence course, so you can discontinue it anytime you wish. There is nothing at stake except your time & effort.

    iv) I am a seeker for last many years & have read important scriptures of Hinduism, Christianity, Islam, Buddhism & Jainism & have also read thoughts of great personalities like Maharishi Ramana, Nisarga Datta Maharaj etc.. I have been an active member of this forum for nearly 3 years ( came here via SDF which was the earlier forum). So, all theories, opinions, thoughts etc. discussed here are known to me. I became a student of Maharishi Yogananda's school nearly 8 months back. I can tell you that nothing impressed me as much as Maharishi Yogananda's teachings & that is why I recommended it.

    ----------------------------------------------

    Don't keep any otherwise feelings in you over this advice. It is purely your choice. It was just a friendly advice which I spurted out on your thought of taking a drastic step.

    Be happy ...

    With love,

    selfseeker

    Posted 1 year ago #
  14. shin
    Member

    shin

    "All in all, I'm giving up fighting, resisting, pushing and most of all wanting. I've never been satisfied with what the universe has given me how much I feel I am worth so much more so this to me is great realisation, how ever painful.

    I think I'm going to devote my self to achieve inner silence and oneness.

    I see no other choice unless I am to remain constantly rotting in 'want' for the rest of my life."

    BroDan,

    realise that what you have written is just one more form of lust. S. Freud would say it is the desire for Thanatos, non-existence. It is an understandable, natural response (for most people) to seeing years of life and existence affirming Eros fall to pieces.

    What could you find in India which you can't find where you are right now? What could one find in meditation which one can't find in everyday life? By all means meditate, but this is only a tool to discover what is already there, has been there all the time.

    What is the solution? To happily rot in the 'want'! See that this is not the real you but just something that the false you makes happen to yourself.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  15. BroDan
    Member

    BroDan

    Hi Selfseeker,

    Yeah sorry, I've just been really busy, which is a good sign I've not posted back sooner as this would indicate I am not in so much turbulent thought now.

    I have always loved what you post and you have often help me clear my self of things that where bothering me. I was going to write and say that I am not in Australia but from Brighton in England ! Bless you, you went to all that effort to post all that for me and I am touched, thank you. I have found a Yoga course that's on every Saturday in one a Buddhist centre near by that I can easily attend around my schedules, it's a 'Vajrasati Yoga' course, I wanted to start today but missed it so am going to start next Saturday.

    Do you know of this Yoga form? This feels right for me and the centre is beautiful, Is it a good start for me?

    Amazing post Starzz, you really cut to it, I'm going to read over it carefully a few more times and reflect.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  16. selfseeker
    Member

    selfseeker

    Dear Dan,
    Oh ! Now I had a hearty laugh at my post ! Sometimes we think too much !!

    [quote]Do you know of this Yoga form? This feels right for me and the centre is beautiful, Is it a good start for me?[/quote]

    As long you are satisfied, it is right for you. :)

    Posted 1 year ago #
  17. BroDan
    Member

    BroDan

    Ha Ha ! Selfseeker I was going to say I thought you thought too much ! ha ha !

    You know what !? I just turned up at the Buddhist centre and the teacher let me pay for an 8 Saturday sessions and I was straight in. The class was very different to other Yoga classes as it was so gentle, the whole thing behind this Yoga they where teaching and meditation is that it was all about being so gentle on your self that it allows trapped emotions or things where holding on to almost wash out of us at their own pace, this feels really right to me now as all I've ever done in the past is be really heavy on my self, so this method is much more like 'self loving' than how I used to be on my self.

    It was a lovely session with only another 3 in the class, I thought the teacher didn't seem all that experienced but we had a really good chat after wards and I really liked his out look, his thoughts very much made me feel that I am on course with my latest realisation being that it is 'want' that I need let simmer down so as not to feel so hounded by ego all the time, already I am much happier today and didn't feel like doing or buying anything expensive just to fill a 'want', I really glided about today with out a care for time, bliss.

    I have also decided to move to the other corner of Europe to a place called Ibiza, it is pretty much the night club hot spot of the world but in finding out that there's a lot of people in the North that go to live there for Yoga especially I now feel this Island has it all for me, my work, my life style, the sea and the warm climate plus a chance to mingle with every sort of person from any where around the world.

    Exiting !!!

    Thanks Selfseeker and Thanks Starzz

    Dan

    Posted 1 year ago #
  18. selfseeker
    Member

    selfseeker

    You are a beautiful soul, Dan. May God bless you ! :)

    Posted 1 year ago #

RSS feed for this topic

Reply

You must log in to post.